I’m trying to get into the right mindset to write tonight. I’m feeling very tired from the trip in to see my clinical trials nurse and oncologist in Saskatoon. When I go it seems there is a slow drip of information that comes from these meetings and thing is. It takes me forever to wrap my head around what is really going on and it is an effort on my part to process all of this stuff.
No CT scan this time so it was more of a how are you feeling kind of visit. But, one thing I learned today is that for the past while my white cell count and other blood stuff has been quite low. Ok, that I knew but what they’ve been doing is reducing the amount of chemo drugs I’ve been getting during each session. I remember hearing the chemo nurses talking about a reduced amount of drugs, but I didn’t think anything of it. This all makes sense as I haven’t been having bad reactions to the treatments. The treatments just haven’t been as hard on me.
Even though the good drugs have been watered down a tad, everyone agreed that I’ve had a lot of chemo. Depending on the next set of blood tests, I will start cycle 10 or my 27th chemo treatment on Friday. That’s a lot of chemotherapy! Or, we stop and my part of the clinical trial will end and this will be when we try something else, something new.
I am looking at changing things and trying medical marijuana. But the thing is the drug program I’m on now is working. I would need a good reason to change other than “change” and ending chemo might do it, maybe. The thing to remember is that I am receiving palliative care so the main focus is on my comfort, not trying to cure me.
For one, I am leery of changing this as the drugs are taking care of my nausea. I don’t know how to describe nausea caused by the cancer other than it is the worst symptom I deal with. Just horrible and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. The pancreatic enzymes and anti-nausea pills are what is keeping me going. So to give one up to try something else is a big deal.
Not sure if Rob the pot head experimenting with drugs is the best way to go, maybe it is. Who knows at this point, no one there expected me to finish cycle 9 of this clinical trial so we are approaching new ground. That and it would be so much fun showing up at the museum with a plate of brownies at coffee time.
Anyways, lots to think about and I could write a book on the opiates vs pot vs chemo debate from the MCS community. Maybe this weekend I’ll try and comment on it.
As my friend Sharon used to say, life is good
My EI & I 